Ditching These 7 Horrible Habits for a Better Marriage
If you want to be the very best wife to your husband, you need to know what it takes. It is important to understand that there are certain things that you should do and others that you shouldn’t do in order to show your love and respect for him.
Protecting your marriage from things that can poison it should be one of your top priorities. In this blog post I will list 7 of the most horrible habits designed to do just that, and show you how you can turn the tables on these most challenging behaviors.
Your husband is a gift so these shameful quirks should never find their way into your marriage. Check them out and see if any stirs your gut.
1.
Yelling– To scream or shout in anger. You may yell at your kids when they don’t do what you tell them to do. And a lot of times that spills over into how you communicate with your husband. Be aware that yelling at your husband communicates to him that you don’t have a lot of self-control and you may be taking your frustrations out on him.
2.
Criticism– To find fault; judge unfavorably or harshly. No one wants to be judged and no one wants to be taken apart by someone else’s harsh opinions, especially your hubby. It destroys his self-esteem and makes him want to give up when you criticize his dreams and plans, or he would rather keep them to himself, because he believes he doesn’t have your support.
3.
Disrespect-To treat with contempt (scorn) or rudeness. This is probably the most important one to be aware of. Men are very sensitive and on high alert when it comes to disrespect. You might be doing this and not even know it.
I was watching an episode of “Married at First Sight” and the wife of one of the couples made a joke about the husband spilling champagne on his shirt, which he didn’t find funny at all. He felt disrespected by her pointing out his clumsiness. She had no clue.
Then again, you may very well do it on purpose to make a point or just because you’re annoyed. Although you want so badly to cross that line, your hubby really needs to be respected as a man and for who he is, at all times. It lets him know you honor and accept him.
4.
Cutting him off when he talks– Yeah, this one…it’s almost like you can’t help it. I know, some of the things they say, you just have to cut them off to get your point across, or to stop the bleeding of his ongoing rant. You listen to respond instead of to hear. I know this is a big one for me. It hurts my soul sometimes to not jump in and just start saying what I want to say to my hubby.
When you do this, it tells your hubby that what he has to say is not important or not as important as what you have to say. And no one, not even you, wants to feel insignificant or not heard. I know your hubby may do it to you sometimes too, but that’s when some good ole fashioned Communication 101 needs to happen.
5.
Rolling your eyes behind his back-He just said something to you that was so worthy of a HARD eye-roll. And let’s face it, they can say some stuff! But this is immature and you know what? You will eventually get caught! He’ll turn back around to you when you’re not expecting it and BOOM! Then, you’ll hurt your hubby more than your words ever could have.
6.
Telling him what to do– OK, so my hubby always says to “Never tell a man anything!” Especially what to do. It’s better if you share things with him or make suggestions. Telling him will raise a wall of defensiveness that you may not be able to penetrate.
Just like when a woman says that infamous and dreaded statement, “We have to talk.” Instant turn-off. I found out it makes them feel like they’re in trouble, or did something wrong. That translates into, “I failed at something” and you know how
they hate failing.
So, out of respect for my hubby’s wishes, I have changed my language and always say, “Let me share something with you.” It definitely softens the atmosphere and paves the way for a successful conversation.
7.
Cursing– Oh my goodness, thank God for Jesus and salvation! I use to curse like a sailor. Every other word that came out of my mouth was a curse word. And I don’t mean those vanilla words, I mean the one’s on the Black Market! Now I’ve NEVER cussed at or to my hubby, but I have to my ex. I remember the first time I
did and I can still see the look on his face. He was so shocked.
Don’t do this because it is a nasty habit that makes you look really bad. It’s one of the greatest feminine energy busters there are. It steals away your gift of softness and makes you look hard and dudely. Plus, you don’t want your hubby to be embarrassed by what’s coming out of your mouth when you are in front of his boys or other people. Right? Right.
The solution to combat these challenging behaviors is simple: Whenever any of these horrible habits rear their ugly heads, remember the 10 second rule: Stop, take 10 seconds to take a deep cleansing, calming, re-aligning breath, maybe three. Then think this:
“My husband doesn’t deserve this, so to avoid this behavior I will demonstrate the opposite instead.”
Repeat it at least three times. Then, do it. And most importantly, never forget your goal is for your Hubby to want to be married to you, not make him regret the day he said “I do.”
These tips were designed to be helpful and I hope they did their job!
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